Just.This

I wasn't going to post today. I've had a rough week.
Not in the whole scheme of the global world kind of rough week.

But just a "it's hard to be a mom of a sick non-sleeping 2 year old who will not listen to a word I say, is into everything, won't obey, all I do is discipline all day and all night long, and a 6 year old who is wayyyy smarter than me (I thought that didn’t start till the junior high years?), wayyyy cooler than me, and has learned to have a really smart mouth”......................." kind of week.

I feel like all I do is try to make my kids be "good". I'm sometimes terrified of what everyone at church and school and the grocery store think of my children and how they must whisper when I walk off about how I need to get control of those two crazy boys.

They are not terrible children by any means. For the most part they are very well behaved. They are both well above average in academics and very athletically and musically inclined. They are kind and sweet and gentle at times. They are both wonderful blessings to me. But they ARE little boys. They are both very strong sprited, strong willed individuals... But I worry every minute of every day that I'm not doing the right things as a mother and that they will turn out awful because of it.

And then I followed a link to this post.

http://lysaterkeurst.com/2012/01/i-dont-want-to-raise-a-good-child/

And I cried my eyes out.

I desperately needed to read that today.

Maybe you did too.




And P.S. When Cason is a missionary in Africa and Lucas is saving kids in Indonesia, and I never get to see my grandkids I guess I'll just laugh at all the times I have prayed over and over "God use them in awesome ways - I want them to have a passion for you above all else".

Baby Steps

This may just totally be me and my craziness but ever since I had Cason - I'm in a constant state of being completely overwhelmed. I have a consistent very long to do list on my desk and on the refrigerator and most days I never get anything crossed off.

Cason only naps occasionally on the weekends these days, and Lucas never naps, so most of the time from 7:30 until 11:30 at night - there is never a moment that I don't have at least one child needing me and so the only time I can do anything is after 11 p.m. And that needs to include cleaning the house, laundry, Bible Studies, organization, working out, showering, spending time with Heath when he isn't working, Scentsy, blogging, answering e-mails, etc. And I'm super type A so sometimes just the thought of what I need to do gets me so overwhelmed I'm paralyzed and I end up not doing anything. And then I'm even more frustrated.
And some nights I'm so tired that all I want to do is sit on the couch with a whole lot of snack foods and just completely veg in front of the TV. And that does nothing for my productivity or my diet.

So I'm trying to learn to just take baby steps. I'm trying to break every task into very small chunks and just accomplish those little things in a day and it might take longer - but things manage to get done. It's kind of like the Dave Ramsey approach to paying off debt.

I've taken on a modified version of the "Fly Lady" and I just try to clean one room or do one major cleaning task (i.e. mopping, dusting) a day. If a miracle happens and both boys nap and I'm blessed with an extra hour or two on the weekend and some energy - I'll try to do several things and get ahead.

I'm trying to do at least one load of laundry - and PUT IT AWAY (my biggest problem!) - a day.


If I say I want to read the Bible in a year - that sounds wonderful. But I can't seem to stay on track. So I just try to read at least one chapter a day and just spend time in prayer during the day.

Diet and exercise are tough for me because my will power is not stellar. But I'm using an app on my phone called My fitness Pal and it helps me keep track of calories. I do my best and if I don't have a great day - I just start over the next day.


I need to work on reading with Lucas; and teaching Cason the alphabet/vocabulary every day but sometimes the days/evenings are so busy with just the little things - I don't feel like I do an adequate job. I use every chance I can during the day on the weekends to just work on words and sounds with both of them. I am trying to teach them anything I can - like reading our Bible, letters, numbers, songs, painting, cooking, etc. I still don't know how homeschooling moms do it.  They are both so smart and advanced, so I am trying to stay on top of keeping them that way.  Lucas is very interested in math, numbers, measurements, and science- which is not my strong area. He is only in Kindergarten and already wanting to know all about how everything works and how numbers play a part in everything! Cason is doing good on his alphabet, and he has learned several new songs lately. THey are both very musically inclined and anyone who knows me knows that they did NOT get this quality from my side!

I've learned to say no to a lot of things right now. I'm learning my limits.

I'm trying to do better at sitting down on Sunday nights and making a meal plan so we have healthy meals all week and maybe I won't go to the store very much. We've done really well this month with not eating out.

I've made a list of all the major projects I'd like to get done around here this year - (cleaning out closets, desks, drawers, selling baby clothes, major cleaning jobs, etc) and I have a goal to do at least one every few weeks.

So I still feel a little overwhelmed......but chipping away at the big icebergs in my life a little at a time makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere. I'll probably never feel completely "together" but maybe I won't show up on an episode of "Hoarders" either.

And I'm not going to lie.................I daydream about Mary Poppins coming to live with us. A Lot.

You are the apple of my eye...

I sure do love these two boys and they truly are the apples of my eye.

One year...

Oh how quickly a year can pass by, and how much changes! Last year around this time, Cason was almost a year old.  We were busy preparing for his party. I took a few pictures of him and Lucas to use for his invitation. Take a look at this one...

They both still had a lot of baby fat on their little faces. Cason hadn't even had a haircut yet! Look at those little duck feathers.

Now, here we are again.  Birthday #2 is quickly approaching.  It is once again party planning time. While this picture wasn't taken for invitation purposes, it certainly shows how much they've changed in 12 short months, and how much they love their Laurney!!

2011

I thought about doing a 2011 recap post today but I feel like if you have read my blog at all this year - you have pretty much lived the recap with me. You know the highest points… the birthdays, accomplishments, projects, and celebrations. A few of you know the low points, too!

All in all, 2011 has been a pretty amazing year! 2011 brought me so much joy with our families and amazing friends. I realize over and over how blessed I am. And I don't take a minute of it for granted.

Last year my only New Years Resolution was to pretty much "just survive". I knew more than ever that having two kids, a full time job, a couple of part time gigs, baseball, Kindergarten, and various other commitments (church, weddings, showers… must I continue?) would be hard (understatement of the year) and I didn't want to make resolutions to be more organized or to lose weight or to read more because thankfully I enough wisdom to know I just needed every ounce of energy I had to take care of my little family, myself, and keep our home running. Let me tell you, that was a great resolution.


Sunday during Children’s Church we talked about goals- what goals were good (cleaning our room without being asked to, reading our Bible as much as we watch TV, and eating our vegetables- definitely all areas in which I can improve); and what goals were bad (skipping school, eating nothing but candy all day, never taking out the trash). Working with kids never ceases to amaze me. Their little minds are so unique and intricate. I loved hearing their ideas about their goals for the new year and seeing them reach deep down in their hearts for ways to improve their character.

This year my goal again is to just survive. But I'm feeling a little more in control these days finally. So I might want to try getting healthier and hopefully lose some weight. I hope to get WAY more organized. I hope to spend more time each day with Jesus. I hope to share my faith more with boldness. I hope to serve God more and serve others a lot more. I hope to give more than I get. I hope to love people I don't feel like loving. I hope to be a better mother. I hope to guide my boys to be amazing little people. I hope to be a better wife. I hope to be a better friend. I hope to be a better daughter. I hope (this is a big one…) to have a cleaner house.

I'm going to need a lot of Sonic drinks and a lot of prayer to get make it all work!

But most of all - I hope to just treasure every single moment. I hope to fill my days with the joy and laughter of my kids and husband and cherish the laugh lines on our faces. I want to make my husband feel like the luckiest man on Earth, and make sure, even though I tell him multiple times per day, that my love for him is stronger than ever.  Recently it has become that much more apparent that we really never know when it might be our last day. We never know what tomorrow may bring. I want to just survive this year and live the best life day by day I can.

I have a feeling that 2012 is going to bring many changes around our household. New plans and dreams are almost close enough to reach out and touch.

What about you? What are your goals/hopes/resolutions for 2012?