MOrgan

This is my friend, Morgan.  I had the honor of taking some fun, very special pictures of her not long ago.

She has the sweetest spirit, with just the right amount of sass.  She certainly keeps her mom and dad busy and entertained! I have really loved watching this little gal grow up and we had such a good time this (rainy), (cloudy), (gray) afternoon, despite the gloomy weather.

Just before Christmas 2009, Morgan was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a rare form of bone cancer in her leg.  If you'd like to read more about Morgan's story, you can do so by clicking HERE.

sisters- Macie, Morgan and Mollie

Morgan's cancer is back, this time in her other leg.  She has started treatment and wanted to have her picture taken before her hair fell out again (and I learned this week that she had her daddy shave her head before it got the chance to even fall out)...See, this little fighter isn't letting it get her down.  Her God is big and that cancer is small.  She knows that everything is going to A-OK, and I know the same.  She is such an inspiration to me.  I only hope that I can face life's challenges with the same enthusiasm and determination as Morgan LaRue.  Even at her young age, she is a role model to many- young and old!

Things that matter

It's been here since they were both born.

The incessant need to constantly compare them to other kids. Are they sleeping like normal kids? Are they crawling or walking when they should? Are they talking when they should be? Are we on the right track with potty training?

And I see this starting to escalate as Lucas moves up in each grade at school. I see some kids his age reading chapter books, and while Lucas is a great, actually really great, reader- he isn’t quite at that chapter book level yet... What if he is behind? I feel like I'm constantly trying to get around other 2 year olds and listen to them talk to see where Cason is on his speech, numbers, colors, etc... It keeps me up at night worried about how each boy will do as they grow up. Do any of you moms (or dads) let this stuff keep you awake or am I just crazy?

This has just been on my mind SO much lately as Lucas goes into first grade, and Cason gets ready for preschool. I am trying to hard to set my "momma mind and heart" and focus on this.

I honestly have never had the desire (even before I had kids) for them to be the smartest kids at school. I would love it if they were but that just doesn't seem like the most important thing to me. I don't need them to be super athletes- even though I am super proud that Lucas is such a natural athlete (and Cason may be too). I know kids all develop at different rates. I think about myself - My mom has told me my whole life how I was reading books at 3 and I started school at 4 and teachers would take me around to let others hear how well I read for such a young age. So you would think after all that I would be a brain surgeon.

I made good grades in school but I was never a national merit scholar (I know all you grammar police out there know this if you read my blog).

I think I have to continually put myself in check almost every day. Even though panic starts to arise when I think about how Cason will do in preschool - I remember that honestly I only care about two things when it concerns my boys. I don't care if they are the smartest ones in school. I don't care if they are the captain of the football team, president of the National Honor Society, and I don't care if they are voted most popular.

My desire for both boys is that they are kind and giving and that they love Jesus with all their hearts.

That's IT.

I will cheer and clap and jump and holler a whole lot more if they will sit by the kid who is a little different in the cafeteria and offer to share their cookies. Or if they will dry the tears of the kid in their class who gets hurt. Or if they are the first to volunteer when a friend has a need. I will be thrilled to death if they save all their allowance money to help orphans or buy poor kids Christmas gifts. My heart will soar if they will share Jesus with their classmates or invite friends to church. I'm already so full of pride when Cason demands we pray at every meal and then says the sweetest prayers or when I hear Lucas praying in his room by himself. That's better than them being a child prodigy to me all day long.

Those things are eternal. I know being kind and loving God won't pay the bills but they will buy up mansions in heaven.

So I may spend more time teaching kindness or singing "Oh how I love Jesus" and praying with them than I do teaching multiplication tables or Latin verbs.

My biggest prayer as a mom is to train their hearts and not their heads. I know that's NOT the popular way or what seems to be what most people do. And it's a conviction to me to be the example - which means I have to shape up in where my priorities lie. BIG TIME.

Loving God and loving His people to me is what matters most.

Just Talkin'

Oh, Cason. He is just talking up a storm. He loves to talk, and I love to listen. He will talk about anything and everything. He talks about ball-ball (baseball), and marchmemmows (marshmallows) and dine-tors (dinosaurs). He tells us all about his big boy hunnerwheres (underwear) and he’s learning to tattle (Lucas wrestle me and kick my head hard, Mama!) He loves to sit on the kitchen counter while I cook and pick up each utensil and ingredient and say, “What’s that for?” After I tell him “what it’s for”, he says, “oh, ok Mama”. When he first started going to the potty, he loved to talk. Lucas always loved to talk during that time also, so I thought maybe Cason would be the same. But now, while he potties, he says, “Move Mama. Shut door.” He rambles on and on and on about tigers (mean, scary ones), horses, dogs, dirt, deer, water, swimming, and fishing. I was playing with him one evening this past week and while we were coloring, we some how got on to the subject of fishing. He proceeded to tell me a full blown, very animated story; it was so neat! I think he spoke probably four or five sentences before he slowed down. It went something like this:

I went fishing with Daddy Lucas. I caught big fish (casting motion), he blue. I not eat him. I FROW (big throwing motion here) him in water and he swim, swim, swim (swimming motion- the way a person swims) to him home.

He’s taken a keen interest in football also. He loves to catch the ball (and hes really good at throwing and catching!) and say, “TOUCHDOWN!” while he slams down the ball and shakes his little butt.

He loves to perform. This past week while we were in Burleson at the state tournament, he put on a good show for the crowd. They had music playing during and in between games, which was neat. The kids loved it. Once, If You’re Gonna Play in Texas came on and the fans started clapping to the beat. Cason jumped up, landed right in front of the bleachers and started clapping to the beat and cutting a rug. Everyone was watching him and laughing and he was just soaking it all up…it is quickly becoming obvious that he loves to entertain. (total opposite from Lucas at that age- he was so shy, and very reserved!) I think watching their personalities develop and grow is one of the neatest things about raising kids. They are each their own person and I think that’s great!

About the same

“Monica, how is your mom?”

I hear these words all the time. I hear them at work, at church, and at the baseball field. I hear them during the week and on the weekends, at restaurants and meetings. I even hear them at home. I am a fairly private person regarding most things, and this is one of them. So, my blanket response is usually: “about the same”.

But, really, she isn’t about the same. In one sense, physically, she is worse. Her pain is almost unbearable at times and she cries herself to sleep. Speaking of sleep, she does that a lot too. I think sleep is the only time when she really feels ok, or numb. I will spare the rest of the horrid details about her health. Every aspect of her life is really a mess, and she has spent most of her life in pure turmoil about one thing or another. She really knows no peace here on Earth. I could talk for days about the endless crap in her life. (Like the fact that my stepdad left her, she has no money, no car, and is still caring for my half brother (13)…more on that later.) I am doing by best to figure out a way to fix all this and come up with a solution… but I am rather certain there isn’t one.

On the flip side, despite all the mess, she is certain of one thing- her faith in God. Although her emotional, physical and mental state comes and goes, her spiritual well being is GOOD. She knows that one day soon, she will be at perfect peace. She is going to Heaven! I cried when she told me, tears of joy of course. It was something I had wondered for a long time, so finally I just asked her. If there is nothing else I can do for her, I wanted to be sure that she knew Jesus before she left us. And she does. We had a long conversation about Him and faith. A lot of really terrible things have happened to her in her lifetime, most of which she has shared with me these last few months. Some of them have haunted and troubled me countless nights, and I am still learning to cope with a lot of it.

Not long after we talked about our Savior, I heard this story on the KSBJ morning show on my way to work and needless to say, had to reapply my mascara after crying my way through the work traffic!
While the details of the story are not the same as my mom’s background (she’s always acknowledged Jesus as the Son of God), it still hit very close to home. Thought I’d share it tonight.

Never Never Never Give Up.

My Dad always acknowledged Jesus as a good man but certainly not the Son of God. At times he seemed to be more Agnostic than Atheist. After a life time of conversations with him about God and Jesus we felt defeated by the time he was diagnosed with incurable cancer. In his last months of life he told us not to visit him and not to talk to him about God. He said he didn't believe in God and didn't want us to try to change his mind. I cried… A lot! I prayed…. A lot! We all did. I shared my pain with close friends and my kids. My kids don’t appear to be that close to God right now but they did understand the depth of my anguish and sorrow. We couldn’t catch a plane in time to say good bye to Dad last week. He passed before we even boarded the plane. One sister lives closer to Dad on the Coast and was able to see him in his last hours. He was in ICU. He was telling his wife about the beautiful butterfly in the room, how beautiful its wings were. He then raised his hand so the butterfly could rest upon his finger! My sister was next to visit with Dad. In the quiet of the room, in Dad’s last hours, he turned to my sister, locked eyes with her and said to her “JESUS IS MY SAVIOR”! My Dad taught me much in this life. I have some wonderful memories. But he gave us the most important gift of all in his last hours. What strikes me most is - not just the joy for him - or the comfort I have now - but the reaction of my own children. When they heard this – they wept! My Dad finally reached out for God. His future AND his legacy changed in that moment. I know my children will be profoundly affected and that this will change them in some powerful ways. Yes Dad – Jesus is our Savior. '

tap, tap, tap: Is this thing on?

Wow. Quite some time has passed since I last showed my face around the blogger world. To say we've had a very busy summer thus far is an extreme understatement, and although I've done my best to stay up to date with reading my blog list, I've been terribly neglectful of writing my own posts. There have been several things this summer which have preoccupied me, if you will.

#1- We've watched, practiced, played and dreamt about baseball.  Baseball, baseball, baseball.  And I've loved every last minute of every game.  I've always been athletic and involved in sports but never found my groove in baseball til I got to watch my boy play.  It is the best game ever when your kid is out on the field!  Luke's team did SO good this year.  They worked and fought their way into a spot in the state tournament.  For the first time in over 30 years, Huntsville was represented in the Pony Baseball State Tournament in Burleson, Texas.  Our Hornets were quickly eliminated from the tournament, but the fact that they made it that far was so awesome and a great accomplishment for our boys.  Being there was definitely an experience to remember. 

drinking their green hornet juice and getting a pep talk from the mamas!

Cason LOVES Cody, and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual!

Each of the above pictures were taken during the state tournament.  I do not even want to begin to process my thoughts around sharing pictures from the entire all star season.  They arrived on my computer this evening in droves.  Tons.  Hundreds, I tell you.  sevenhundredandeightysix if you're a number person.  (that's almost 800, which may as well be 1000,  if numbers aren't your thing!)  There will be a seperate post showcasing each tournament the team played in, at some point.  I think November of 2015 is likely.

We also spent another week in Seaside, Florida this year.  It was SO relaxing, SO fun, and SO needed.  I don't have many pictures from the actual beach.  I am not brave enough to introduce my fancy camera to the sand, salt and sea.  Yet.  My aunt took pictures with her camera, so once I get my hands on my copies I will be sure to share our amazing week with you all. 

Other than playing ball and going on vacation, we've spent a lot of time in the water- whatever body of water is closest and cleanest, ha!  Our boys are such little fishes.  We've spent a lot of time with friends and family, too. 

The boys have thoroughly enjoyed their newly retired Nana, who's been taking them to do all kinds of fun stuff like play putt-putt, splash at the splash pad, go to the library, and eat lots of frozen yogurt.  I think a movie date is in the near future, too! I had more pictures to share tonight but apparently, either blogger or my internet doesn't agree, since I can't get another single picture to upload.  So, here I am signing off, but this time with a promise for another picture filled post sooner rather than later!